Thankful

Wow. So much has happened this summer!!

As I return to Northwestern, I attempt to count my blessings. Too bad… there are too many to count! But I can try. 🙂 Here are a few to get started…
-coworkers who turned into friends
-an adorable Little Shadow (aka Cody) who brightened my summer’s work when I was at home!
-Composing — enough said 🙂
-I received a splint in July to help with my TMJ! That has helped some so far and we’ll see how it helps as I get into the semester! This leads right into…
-Singing!! “I LOOOVE to sing!”
-Family ❤
– 4 jobs to save money for school
-Being back at ARC with my great church family!
-Spending time with Little Dude (Reed – not so little anymore!) and Jen
-Divine appointments/beautiful conversations
-Teaching music/music theory is FUN!
-A certain friend and the Adventure that we’re living! I cannot believe how the LORD has orchestrated the whole thing so perfectly. I am SO blessed!!
-Books, oh how I’ve missed you during the school year when I no longer have time for fun-reading!
-Being STILL
-Sleep — I’ve actually been sleeping well most of the summer! Hooray!
-A new beautiful yellow dress from my lovely mother 🙂
-Frolicking in the country… and the stars…. YES
-Skype!
-Running! Who knew I would come to enjoy running long distances?!
-Music (such as Chris Thile’s new Bach album that recently came out!!)
-A car of my own, named Nellie
-the SUN. Sometimes it’s hard to sit inside all day doing homework and not be able to go run and play!
-Finishing my summer classes strong!
-Lovely phone conversations with lovely people
-My roommates who I will see SOON and very SOON!
-fresh veggies. Yummmmmmm. 🙂
-Painting my room with my sissy!
-Organizing my bookshelf, which really needed it.
-Scripture
-Love, Life, Faithfulness, Perseverance, Encouragement, JOY

I could go on and on… the list would never end! But all these words to say… I am a VERY blessed, VERY thankful girl! Abba, I cannot WAIT to start this new season, this adventure called Sophomore year with You! May You be my Guide, my Leader, my Comfort and Reassurance… may You be my Love this school year. Amen. ❤

Only the Beginning

Music Teacher.
These two words entitle the fun, new experience I have had in the past two weeks! And what a joy it has been. The kiddos I worked with, the introduction song I made up, the material I taught, the games we played, the “homework” we looked at, the understanding that was built, the wrong answers fixed and made right, the feedback received from the parents/guardians who brought their kiddos to class, the points each kiddo earned for learning well, the helpful kiddos erasing the whiteboard for me at the end of class, the giggles and silliness of kiddos having fun learning… I loved it all! I thoroughly enjoyed seeing lightbulbs of understanding, joy, and learning happen over the 4 class sessions I spent with those 3 amazing kiddos. K, D, and C were a blast to teach; I am so thankful for such a positive first “classroom” teaching experience. Yes, it was not as big or quite the same format as a school teacher, but it was a lot of the same kinds of things as what I will be soon diving into learning about! And for that I am very excited. What a blessing it was to receive such positive feedback from the parents. Their support of how this Music Enrichment/Music Theory class idea went this first time around gives me great hope and excitement (and more ideas!) for expanding it next summer. What a thought!!

Now I’ll tell you a little bit about my kiddos. 🙂 They will have a special place in my memory as they were part of a milestone in my own education journey.
K — What a tall, sporty girl she is! She is smiley, cheery, and always ready and eager with the right answer. I am pretty sure she had some knowledge of a little of the material we covered, so she was able to pick up speed and familiarity as we worked through the material I taught. She always brought back worksheets well-completed. Her questions were thoughtful and usually ahead of where I was teaching. This girly reminded me a lot of myself at that age. That’s kind of a fun thought.
D — This sweetheart was a little difficult for me to relate to at first mostly because she was a little shy, but by the second week her spunk was starting to come bursting forth! She loves to laugh and make funny faces. Her “thinking” face always made me wonder if she thought I was being too hard, but the right answers she often gave me proved that theory wrong! When I asked them their favorite games, she could not pick one! I found that kind of crazy, considering kids love games, right? Well, maybe she just has too many to choose from. I was very encouraged to see this initially-quiet girl gain confidence and have fun with the music material we learned.
C — This is one spunky and sweet little mister! He was the most talkative one of our group, always ready to fill the extra space with a comment, question, or silly antic. I have some adorable quotes from this guy over the course of the week. On day one, C walks in, sits down next to D and says, “I’m a little nervous for this.” I reassured him that it would be fun, and he looked back at me with the biggest eyes and a slightly concerned look on his face, almost as if he didn’t believe me. Boy, was I right though! On day three when K was up at the whiteboard answering a question for me, I could hear C singing quietly to himself, “I like music, I like music…” and proceed to hum a little spontaneous tune to finish it off before it was his turn to answer a question for me at the board! Sounds like a happy musician to me! 🙂 On the final day of class while he, D, and K were all working together at the board, C says, “I like this class a lot.” and then a minute later “I’m going to miss you!” Oh goodness… what music to my ears. I had been praying for these kiddos before meeting them, that they would enjoy the class, learn about music, and grow a passionate love for learning… that they would not only learn to love music, but also come to know and love the Giver and Creator of Music, too. According to C’s comments, that prayer was just maybe answered!!
What a joyous beginning to what might just be an excitingly long journey of learning, discovery, music, and kiddos!

IMG_0959

Sometimes Blessings Come Disguised

I am sure you’ve heard this saying before: “Sometimes blessings come disguised.” It rings true to us for many reasons. We make plans and often times those plans don’t happen how we’d like or when we’d like. We see the bad in some circumstances, only to find out later that there was some good mixed in. Or if there was no apparent good to be found, we at least learned some good things through the hard times.

This is what I discovered yet again a few days ago.
The LORD took me through an amazing time of reflection and thinking, a time of renewal. He encouraged me to write out my story, the whole thing, from beginning to end. So write I did… and write, and write, and write. And what a freeing act that was. He showed me that through some of the difficulty and strife, through some of the pain and hurt that I had experienced, there were great blessings and lessons that I learned that I am only beginning to see now. He does not deny that some of those things were bad or that some of them hurt — because they really did — but He is showing me that He can make such beauty from ashes, from the fire of trials. But He can only make beauty and bring restoration and renewal if I surrender and let Him. This is a scary act, I know, because it is an act of giving up control. But it is an act of liberation and trust, an act of letting Abba Daddy take the reigns and lead me by the hand instead of running ahead alone to fall in a mud hole that I cannot climb out of by myself. He will certainly help me climb out and gently clean me up if I DO decide to do that… but He encourages me to walk next to Him, letting Him speak into every part of this journey called life. Because truly, that is the Good Life.
So here I am, LORD. Do with me and in me as You will, Abba. I am all Yours.

So Good to Me!

God is SO good to me! Over the past semester, He has been faithfully leading me, guiding me into something that I never expected or thought possible. When He first put the thought into my mind, I told Him, “No way!! I don’t want to yet! I’m scared and not ready for what You’re asking me to do.” But my God had other plans, of course.
Looking back at that moment, and looking at myself now as I step forward to obey Him, I see myself looking a lot like many people in Scripture. Moses, for example, said, “LORD, who am I to speak eloquently in front of Pharaoh, the most prominent figure in all of the world as we know it? How can I do Your work?” Or what about Abraham, who obeyed God and took Isaac to sacrifice him? I’m sure so many thoughts were running through his head as they made the treck up to make an altar. Things like: “Really LORD? How can my son be the fulfillment of the promise if You ask me to sacrifice him? How can I possibly obey this? How do I obey You, God?” Or how about Peter in the New Testament: “Jesus, I will NEVER deny You!” and then he does. He doubts he can ever obey again, knowing that he is sinful and bound to fail. BUT Jesus brings him back his calling and reminds him that he can only do it through the power of the Almighty One who called him in the first place.
This is where the LORD brought me to last week and today. He said, “Andrea, I would never ask you to do something if I could not do it through you and in you. You have to trust me. You are always ready when I am with you.”
And so I say, YES LORD. I trust You. I will obey, even if I am scared and afraid, not knowing how to do what You’ve asked of me. In fact, when I bring my worries or anxieties to You, You can turn it into thrilled excitement and passion for what You’ve called me to do. LORD, thank You for Your faithfulness! You are SO good to me!! ❤

Blessed.

I am a blessed girl…. oh, SO blessed.

My LORD gives me life and breath EVERY SINGLE day to sing for Him, to display His glory and His joy!
My LORD gives me amazing friends, roommate(s), and family with whom I share the amazing journey called life.
My LORD gives me wonderful ideas to use in my compositions.
My LORD gives me strength when I struggle to have energy, peace, or comfort in pain and suffering, day by day.
My LORD gives me focus, motivation, purpose, and perseverance when I feel like giving up.
My LORD gives me crazy passions with which to praise Him, and even provides outlets for those crazy passions (aka — water goblets and music theory!)!
My LORD gives me joy…. unspeakable JOY.
My LORD gives me Himself, His Presence. And that, my friends, is the best of all.

Repentance

I hate it when I sin. Absolutely hate it. And what do I hate even more than sin?? I HATE the appeal of sin. It wouldn’t be so hard to resist if it were an abominable abhorrence. But it’s not always that way. That’s why I’m tempted by it. That’s why you’re tempted by it. It’s part of our fallen nature to want to do things we’re told specifically not to do. It’s a warping of our beautiful curiosity to be interested in that which is harmful to us.

Right now I am angry. Angry at myself for finding sin appealing. Angry that I can’t do what I want to do and that I want to do what I can’t do. Righteously angry I believe because, you see, my desires are not the LORD’s right now. And I HATE that! I want so badly for my desires to be His desires, and yet I have no control over changing my thoughts, my desires, my inclinations. My natural tendencies lead to destruction. I can’t do good. I can look good on the outside, pretending that my actions reveal my desires and motives. But even the good that I do perform is as filthiness compared to His perfection. This is why I’m angry.

I could let this anger cause me to become bitter, angry at God for letting me sin, beating myself up for constantly making mistakes, or just ignore the good and let myself give in to my natural tendencies towards death. But I’m not going to do that. I am going to choose to let truth permeate the sin and temptation that I face, knowing that Jesus is the only One Powerful enough to change me. And I’m going to surrender. Surrender my sin… surrender my pride… surrender my struggles with the thoughts of temptation… and just BE in His Presence. Being in His Presence reminds me who I am. It sets me in my place and shows me the true way, the beautiful way, the good way.

LORD, change my heart. Mold my desires to conform to Yours. Shape me to look like You. Use me. Let it be.

Most This AMAZING Day

“i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any – lifted from the no
of all nothing – human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)”

– e.e. cummings

 

I absolutely love this poem — the creativity it inspires in me and the imagery it conjures up in my mind. I referenced it in a conversation with a friend a few days ago and haven’t been able to forget about it since then. Then a different friend posted it on Facebook today! As I’ve been mulling over it the past few days, I’ve thought about writing a choral work with this text. I have many ideas for it and many directions in which I could take it, and I’m sure it would be a difficult task. BUT I am up for the challenge. Should I take it? 🙂

Another reason why I love it, particularly today, is because of this most amazing day in history. There’s a reason why today is called Good Friday. NOT because it was full of smiles and sunshine and lollipops. NOT because it was happy or playful or full of blue skies. No, this day is called Good because of the wonderful, unimaginable, indescribable, sacrificial, anguishing, painful, agonizing, highest LOVE that was shown on this day by the greatest Man, the most perfect, holy, gracious, merciful, just, beautiful, and righteous Man to walk this Earth. This Man was also God — Jesus, Immanuel. On this day over 2000 years ago, though, He was not Immanuel for long. He was no longer with us, that He might accomplish for us what we could never do for ourselves. For 3 torturous days He separated Himself from us and from His Father, that we might never be separate from God again. That’s not the end of the story, though, or I would definitely not find this poem very inspiring. No, our Jesus is ALIVE today, reigning with the Father at this moment! He conquered death so that we might LIVE with Him. How marvelous is our Savior’s love for us who KNOW Him!! 😀

So this is why I love this poem. And why I want to write a beautiful, moving piece of choral music for a great choir to sing, that it might be a blessing to others and bring glory to Abba. ❤ Maybe I’m too ambitious… or maybe I have a Great God Who is within me, Whose creativity can outshine my own in a heartbeat.

Which one?

For the ministry of this service is not only supplying the needs of the saints but is also overflowing in many thanksgivings to God. By their approval of this service, they will glorify God because of your submission that comes from your confession of the gospel of Christ, and the generosity of your contribution for them and for all others, while they long for you and pray for you, because of the surpassing grace of God upon you.
2 Corinthians 9:12-14

In return for the Corinthians’ generosity to the starving church in Jerusalem, the Christians there pray for them continually.

Which is more valuable: money? or prayer?
Think about it.

Life Lessons From A Chiropractic Appointment

As I woke up this morning, my whole body (particularly my shoulders, back, and jaw) reminded me of yesterday’s happenings. I went to the oral surgeon and chiropractor yesterday. To make a long story short, I learned that I have TMJD, which is from where all of the jaw and back/shoulder pain I’ve been experiencing is coming (not from my wisdom teeth coming in as we thought. In fact, my wisdom teeth are still too immature to take out and we’re waiting on that!). Right after I learned this, I had a chiropractor appointment for my shoulder/back pain, so I told Dr. Katie what I’d just learned about having TMJD. When she adjusted me, she did everything normal up until she started doing my jaw. The adjustments she did to my jaw were so painful; apparently your jaw muscles are some of the most tender ones in your body! I cried because what she was asking me to do (to open my jaw really wide as she massaged pressure points that were inflamed) hurt so much. So when I woke up so sore this morning, I thought to myself, ‘If my body hurts this much after going to the chiropractor, who is supposed to make it feel better, why do I do it?’ Well, I know the answer, of course. It’s to make it feel better. Even if it’s painful now, the adjustments will make it get better in the long run. If I just left it alone, it would only get worse.

Today it struck me just how true to life this is. When we have hurt and pain in our lives, the first reaction we have is to leave it alone. We rationalize, saying to ourselves, ‘No, if I dig that up or think about it too much, that’ll just hurt even more. I’ll just leave it be.’ What God has in mind for us is SO much better, though! He wants to take our hurt and our pain, our sin and our shame, and massage it out. He wants to work on the knots and the inflammation. He knows that it’s going to hurt. He’ll ask us to make movements while He’s adjusting us that will make us cry out “Why?” or cry real tears like I did in my appointment. He knows that, yes, it probably will hurt more the day after (or week after, or year after) than it did the day He started. But the whole point is to make it better for real, not just to pretend it’s okay and cover it up. He wants to HEAL it, to heal you and me. The question is, will we let Him?

Color, Music, Light… Oh, What Blessings!

Today has been a joyous day! The LORD had told me a few days ago to share a story from Him with a friend of mine that needed to hear it. I had known weeks ago that I would be sharing this story with her, but I also knew that I needed to wait on His timing. Today He blessed both of us with the chance to share this story from Him. What a blessing this was! Though I have shared this story with many people, it never becomes old. Jesus’s truth, His story, should never become old! He reveals more of Who He is each time I share it and He renews my courage, my hope, and my joy every time I obey Him and tell yet another brother or sister.

Today when I shared this story, my friend was captured by the light and the color in it. She was awed by the LORD’s beauty, awed by the importance that He places on creativity. The Creator made us in His image; He made us to be creative as He is and to love beauty as He does! The more we understand Who He is, the more we can be filled with JOY in observing and participating in His act of creation. By knowing Abba’s love and care for even the minutiae of our lives, we can appreciate and be attentive to even the minutest details of our own lives.
My friend and I discussed the role of an artist in our world today. We are artists who are Christians. This should make us the most creative people on the planet! We are connected to the Creator Himself; we have the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of God, IN us. This means that we have the power and creativity of the Creator Himself within US! If we are listening and obeying Him, He allows us to participate in His creative work. This can include painting, sculpture, composing, performing, drawing, and so much more! As we follow His call to create, we must listen to His leading, but we must also practice our skill. We cannot be used well if we are not being faithful with the talent and gift He has given us. I must practice writing out melodies and separate lines of music that I hear before I will be able to pick apart and write out dozens of lines that I hear in my head. When a particular piece or even one measure is frustrating and driving me crazy and I feel like quitting, I can choose to persevere or I can choose to stop trying. When I choose to keep going and do the best I can, Abba knows that I am giving Him all that I have. He sees my perseverance as being faithful. When we are faithful in the small things, He will entrust us with greater things.
LORD, may we as artists be faithful in the little things, the small notes, harmonies, colors, or specks we notice in our work that many others might not even see or hear. May we struggle through the process, knowing that it is refining and beautiful. May we persevere to discover the joy of sorrow you have planned for us in this journey of life, this journey of creating and making art!

  • Recent Posts

  • Top Posts & Pages

  • Categories

  • Archives