When presented with this 30-day spiritual journey assignment, my first thought was, ‘Oh good! I will have accountability in applying some of the things I want to be more intentional about now.’ From the beginning of this almost-month time period, I wanted to pursue growth and truth in the areas of fasting, stewardship, and silence and solitude. My goals for this journey included fasting from Facebook completely and being more intentional about my use of electronics, being intentional about making new friendships and strengthening old ones and about using my gifts well, and being intentional about spending good quietness with God and digging into His Word.

                  I learned a lot about fasting during this journey. My main goal for this time was to fast from Facebook because it can be such a distraction from doing the things I need to do, in turn causing delay and distraction from my times with God, my focus on the important things, and my relationships with other people. From the very beginning of this journey I noticed how free I felt after getting off of Facebook. My whole being felt more grounded in the here-and-now; I have felt more authentic since interacting mostly in person. I believe human beings were made to have community in person, not separated by a medium barrier. While I understand that letters, emails, messages, texts, etc. are often needed for long-distance connections, I believe that too often our social constructions today let us off easy when it comes to relationships. It is so much easier to write out damaging criticism and negative things about people because it has become impersonal; in previous generations if one wanted to say something negative to another, they told them to their face. This takes a lot more courage and nerve to do. Since our generation has moved largely to electronic communication, it seems communication has become less civil and more anxiety-filled. I experienced the opposite of uncivil during this journey; I have been more relaxed and at peace in my relationships and within myself. I think that all of the media stimulation becomes too much for me, causing me to be overloaded on unnecessary information and to begin to stress over it even if it is good input. I am a sensitive person, meaning that I am more easily over-stimulated by excitement and thus more easily worn out by levels of sensory input that others find normal. Even if the stimulation is a good thing, I can get too excited or overwhelmed and wear myself out quickly, causing me to become exhausted and anxious. I learned through this journey that minimal media is a very good thing for me. By limiting media input, I help reduce my own sensory input and keep myself from becoming over-stimulated as often. I have decided that I will continue to limit my media use because it benefits me!

                  I experienced much growth over this journey in the area of stewardship. Through my two-fold goal for this journey I learned more about what stewardship looks like and how it is pleasing to God. In the area of friendships, new and old, I enjoyed so many new things. I began going to Streetlight, a campus ministry of NWC students who go to the Marie Sandvik Center to minister to people there by helping the staff, making and serving food, and building relationships with people there. By sacrificing my time and energy to serve at Streetlight, I was exercising stewardship of my time and my gifts. I have already been able to start building relationships with people there and watch God work in them, through them to me, in me, and through me to them. It is so beautiful when God works through my ministry by ministering to me as well! I have also connected with the Streetlight students, bonding through a common goal and purpose even though I didn’t know many of them at all before starting. It is so neat to see God’s people work through community in such unity, being made one through something as simple as a common foundation in God. I have gotten to know so many amazing people and build deeper friendships with them in a month. My roommate Kate and I have gotten to know one another so much better over this month, too. I moved into this room at the beginning of this semester, so though I knew Kate previously, we were not close. We have enjoyed so many good conversations while making cinnamon rolls or cookies, cleaning for room inspections, or before falling asleep at night that have been great bonding experiences. We hosted a prospective student a few weekends ago, which was a great experience in working as a team to make her feel welcome, comfortable, and enjoy her stay at Northwestern. We plan on hosting other prospective students, too, as a result of a positive first experience! Kate was also sick for a week, which gave me a great serving opportunity. I am glad to say that I took it, serving her by bringing her dinner, doing her cleaning, and making her tea. I think both of us were blessed by the extra sleep we got that week!

                  I also grew a lot in my implementation and use of my spiritual gifts. Over the past year I learned that the gifts with which God has blessed me are prayer, prophesy, encouragement, and discernment. I began exploring what exactly prophesy was last year when two different mentoring people told me that I have that gift. Since then I dug deeper into Scripture to explore spiritual gifts and discover which ones God had given me. During this journey I have specifically seen myself blossom with the gifts of prayer and of encouragement, being intentional about listening to God’s Spirit telling me who needs my gift. I have been able to pray for dozens of my friends, learning afterwards why I was praying for them or hearing from them just how impactful my short prayer was to them. It is so satisfying to see God working through me and to obey Him; after all, it is truly what we were made to do. I cannot wait to see how God will continue to use me as I grow in my knowledge and use of my gifts.

                  Silence and solitude has been an area of my life in which I have grown a lot starting last December over break. God showed me that one of the big reasons why I struggled so much last semester was because I did not use my time with Him wisely, either letting it become monotonous or cutting it short. I see that some of the problems that I faced were from not resting in my Creator and living in His Truth about who I am. During this journey I continued what God had started in me in December. I spent time in His Word, pouring over it to see what He wanted to teach me and how He wanted to change me through it. God had been working persistently with me for over a year on a phobia with which I had struggled for years. I knew that He wanted me to experience freedom from bondage, but I did not know how to take the knowledge that I had and move it from knowledge to apply it to circumstances that do not allow time to stop and think. The first week of this journey just before I began journaling, God graciously broke the barrier in me between these two areas and I experienced complete peace and freedom when encountering that phobia for the first time in years. I then continued to allow His peace and rest to wash over me, even when encounters with the previous phobia came up again. Instead of letting myself give into fear, I was able to actually choose peace and freedom, resting in my Abba’s truth of me and letting Him take over my heart. I have had much better relationships with some of my friends as a result, for this phobia was causing my relationships to suffer. Though the fearful thoughts still enter my head sometimes, I choose to focus my thoughts on God, letting Him transform me and entertain my mind. I have made huge progress in this area of previous fear and I feel so free because of it! In the past I have also struggled a lot with loneliness even though I actually really benefit from having alone, quiet time to myself. I believe this was due to some experiences in my home life from middle and high school that caused me to turn to negative thoughts when left alone too long. God has been teaching me a lot about this, and I only experienced those feelings of deep loneliness once over the past month. During that time I was able to rest in my Abba, letting His love wash over me and fill me with peace and contentment instead of restlessness and anxiety.

                  Just this week I hit a roadblock in a significant area of my life that left me doubting myself and questioning my current trajectory for life in the future. As difficult as this has been, I trust God, knowing that He has not and never will change and that He knows exactly what I need when I need it. I can confidently say that I know my God more and better than I did at the beginning of this spiritual journey, and that is the most important part. That is all that truly matters. This journey has not stopped, however; it will continue for the rest of my life on Earth as we know it. I will never stop learning and growing in relationship with the God I call Abba!