Last night I watched “The Passion of the Christ”. It was definitely harder to watch this year than it was last year, probably because I KNOW my Savior and my Abba so much more intimately. I was particularly struck by a couple of things:

1) Jesus’ eyes — every time He encountered someone, He looked deeply into their eyes. Those people, in that moment, knew there was something different about Christ. Every person either turned away, refusing to look Him in the eye, or they couldn’t stop looking into His penetrating gaze. The four people who didn’t look away were John, Veronica, Simon, and Mary. These four knew Christ. They maybe didn’t know Him right away, but the power and irresistibility of His look, peering into their very souls, drew them to Him because they found truth and love there. They found their Messiah in Him in those moments. Everyone else, however, looked away because they couldn’t bear to face the truth. They saw the truth, but they couldn’t let themselves believe it or let it penetrate them because if they did, they would see just how horrifying their deeds were, how sinful they were.

So into which category do YOU fall? Are you looking away, refusing to see the truth and believe what is found there? Or are you gazing longingly, full of sorrow and love, into His eyes, finding truth, finding forgiveness, finding the greatest love that anyone could ever give there? It’s your choice — there is no passivity. Both turning away and staying require action. Which will you choose this day, every day?

2) How could they DO that to Him?! He never did anything wrong; the accusations they brought against Him were all false. They were made-up lies! And not only that, but how could they bear to torture someone through all that flogging and mocking… and then put them through the agony of crucifixion? How could they bear to do that to ANYONE, let alone an innocent man? Let alone Christ, God and Man?

My whole being was absolutely appalled at what they did to Him… but then I realized that I also do that to Him. No, I don’t physically whip Him or spit in His face, but the reason that He went through all of that pain was for me — for all of us. He didn’t only go through excruciating physical pain — He went through unbearable emotional and mental pain in the moments leading up to His arrest. He experienced the worst spiritual pain, the worst kind of rejection possible — His Father, God of the Universe, forsaking Him. Abba abandoned Him on that cross — for you and for me. Christ went through all that willingly — for us. He kept getting up again to carry that cross, so broken and exhausted and bleeding, because He knew that He was doing it for us. Not only that, but the guilt and pain of ALL of the WORLD’s sins He carried. That means that He bore the weight of EVERY SINGLE sin I have ever done or thought or said. So really, I did all of that to Him, too. He suffered willingly, but I also participated in handing Him over and killing Him. This realization was so heart-breaking, so moving, that I see SO much more significance for every moment of my life. With my life I have the ability to honor and glorify Him or to add another weight, another sin, to the millions that He bore. I have a choice — for good or for evil. With all that is in me I pray that God might give me the strength to honor my Suffering King by choosing good, by taking up my own cross and following Him, by living every moment obedient to His calling.

Again, there is no room for passivity here. Every action we do, every thought we meditate upon, and every word we say is for good or for evil. Which will you choose? Will you honor your Christ — your King? Or will you continue to participate in crucifying Him? It’s a daily choice, a moment-by-moment choice.