All posts tagged purpose

Most This AMAZING Day

“i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any – lifted from the no
of all nothing – human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)”

– e.e. cummings

 

I absolutely love this poem — the creativity it inspires in me and the imagery it conjures up in my mind. I referenced it in a conversation with a friend a few days ago and haven’t been able to forget about it since then. Then a different friend posted it on Facebook today! As I’ve been mulling over it the past few days, I’ve thought about writing a choral work with this text. I have many ideas for it and many directions in which I could take it, and I’m sure it would be a difficult task. BUT I am up for the challenge. Should I take it? 🙂

Another reason why I love it, particularly today, is because of this most amazing day in history. There’s a reason why today is called Good Friday. NOT because it was full of smiles and sunshine and lollipops. NOT because it was happy or playful or full of blue skies. No, this day is called Good because of the wonderful, unimaginable, indescribable, sacrificial, anguishing, painful, agonizing, highest LOVE that was shown on this day by the greatest Man, the most perfect, holy, gracious, merciful, just, beautiful, and righteous Man to walk this Earth. This Man was also God — Jesus, Immanuel. On this day over 2000 years ago, though, He was not Immanuel for long. He was no longer with us, that He might accomplish for us what we could never do for ourselves. For 3 torturous days He separated Himself from us and from His Father, that we might never be separate from God again. That’s not the end of the story, though, or I would definitely not find this poem very inspiring. No, our Jesus is ALIVE today, reigning with the Father at this moment! He conquered death so that we might LIVE with Him. How marvelous is our Savior’s love for us who KNOW Him!! 😀

So this is why I love this poem. And why I want to write a beautiful, moving piece of choral music for a great choir to sing, that it might be a blessing to others and bring glory to Abba. ❤ Maybe I’m too ambitious… or maybe I have a Great God Who is within me, Whose creativity can outshine my own in a heartbeat.

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by AJ Petersen on March 29, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in Poetry, Reflections
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Posted by AJ Petersen on March 29, 2013

https://thewayofredemption.wordpress.com/2013/03/29/most-this-amazing-day/

Life Lessons From A Chiropractic Appointment

As I woke up this morning, my whole body (particularly my shoulders, back, and jaw) reminded me of yesterday’s happenings. I went to the oral surgeon and chiropractor yesterday. To make a long story short, I learned that I have TMJD, which is from where all of the jaw and back/shoulder pain I’ve been experiencing is coming (not from my wisdom teeth coming in as we thought. In fact, my wisdom teeth are still too immature to take out and we’re waiting on that!). Right after I learned this, I had a chiropractor appointment for my shoulder/back pain, so I told Dr. Katie what I’d just learned about having TMJD. When she adjusted me, she did everything normal up until she started doing my jaw. The adjustments she did to my jaw were so painful; apparently your jaw muscles are some of the most tender ones in your body! I cried because what she was asking me to do (to open my jaw really wide as she massaged pressure points that were inflamed) hurt so much. So when I woke up so sore this morning, I thought to myself, ‘If my body hurts this much after going to the chiropractor, who is supposed to make it feel better, why do I do it?’ Well, I know the answer, of course. It’s to make it feel better. Even if it’s painful now, the adjustments will make it get better in the long run. If I just left it alone, it would only get worse.

Today it struck me just how true to life this is. When we have hurt and pain in our lives, the first reaction we have is to leave it alone. We rationalize, saying to ourselves, ‘No, if I dig that up or think about it too much, that’ll just hurt even more. I’ll just leave it be.’ What God has in mind for us is SO much better, though! He wants to take our hurt and our pain, our sin and our shame, and massage it out. He wants to work on the knots and the inflammation. He knows that it’s going to hurt. He’ll ask us to make movements while He’s adjusting us that will make us cry out “Why?” or cry real tears like I did in my appointment. He knows that, yes, it probably will hurt more the day after (or week after, or year after) than it did the day He started. But the whole point is to make it better for real, not just to pretend it’s okay and cover it up. He wants to HEAL it, to heal you and me. The question is, will we let Him?

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by AJ Petersen on March 8, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in Reflections
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Posted by AJ Petersen on March 8, 2013

https://thewayofredemption.wordpress.com/2013/03/08/life-lessons-from-a-chiropractic-appointment/

Color, Music, Light… Oh, What Blessings!

Today has been a joyous day! The LORD had told me a few days ago to share a story from Him with a friend of mine that needed to hear it. I had known weeks ago that I would be sharing this story with her, but I also knew that I needed to wait on His timing. Today He blessed both of us with the chance to share this story from Him. What a blessing this was! Though I have shared this story with many people, it never becomes old. Jesus’s truth, His story, should never become old! He reveals more of Who He is each time I share it and He renews my courage, my hope, and my joy every time I obey Him and tell yet another brother or sister.

Today when I shared this story, my friend was captured by the light and the color in it. She was awed by the LORD’s beauty, awed by the importance that He places on creativity. The Creator made us in His image; He made us to be creative as He is and to love beauty as He does! The more we understand Who He is, the more we can be filled with JOY in observing and participating in His act of creation. By knowing Abba’s love and care for even the minutiae of our lives, we can appreciate and be attentive to even the minutest details of our own lives.
My friend and I discussed the role of an artist in our world today. We are artists who are Christians. This should make us the most creative people on the planet! We are connected to the Creator Himself; we have the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of God, IN us. This means that we have the power and creativity of the Creator Himself within US! If we are listening and obeying Him, He allows us to participate in His creative work. This can include painting, sculpture, composing, performing, drawing, and so much more! As we follow His call to create, we must listen to His leading, but we must also practice our skill. We cannot be used well if we are not being faithful with the talent and gift He has given us. I must practice writing out melodies and separate lines of music that I hear before I will be able to pick apart and write out dozens of lines that I hear in my head. When a particular piece or even one measure is frustrating and driving me crazy and I feel like quitting, I can choose to persevere or I can choose to stop trying. When I choose to keep going and do the best I can, Abba knows that I am giving Him all that I have. He sees my perseverance as being faithful. When we are faithful in the small things, He will entrust us with greater things.
LORD, may we as artists be faithful in the little things, the small notes, harmonies, colors, or specks we notice in our work that many others might not even see or hear. May we struggle through the process, knowing that it is refining and beautiful. May we persevere to discover the joy of sorrow you have planned for us in this journey of life, this journey of creating and making art!

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by AJ Petersen on February 27, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in Reflections
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Posted by AJ Petersen on February 27, 2013

https://thewayofredemption.wordpress.com/2013/02/27/color-music-light-oh-what-blessings/

Abba’s Children

I am Abba’s child. He loves me. He is fond of me. He cherishes me. And all of this… BEFORE I existed in time and space.  Abba made me. He shaped me. He breathed LIFE into me. He sustains me now. He holds my body intact, the sinews of my fingers together as I type this. He speaks each piece of this beautiful creation puzzle into being. I am Abba’s child because of nothing I did or can do. How FREEING! I am resting in this amazing truth, this inexplicable beauty, this magnificent goodness.
You are Abba’s child, too. He loves you. He is fond of you. He cherishes you. And all of this… BEFORE you existed in time and space. Abba made you. He formed you. He shaped you. He breathed LIFE into you. Abba sustains you now. He holds your body intact, the veins and muscles in your eyeballs as you read this. He speaks each piece of this beautiful creation puzzle into being. You are Abba’s child because of nothing you did or can do. How FREEING! Will you rest in this amazing truth, this inexplicable beauty, this magnificent goodness?

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by AJ Petersen on December 30, 2012  •  Permalink
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Posted by AJ Petersen on December 30, 2012

https://thewayofredemption.wordpress.com/2012/12/30/abbas-children/

December 14, 2012 — A Day We Won’t Forget

Disgust. Sorrow. Anger. Grief. Sadness. Loss. Despair.
Hope. Purpose. Restoration. Light. Thanksgiving.

This is my response to Friday’s events at Sandy Hook Elementary School. Yes, I know this is almost a week late, but finals were this week and I had only heard what others had discussed, not read the details or seen the pictures myself.
Reading those details, I was horrified. Seeing those pictures of such sweet, lovely, hopeful faces of children… reading their stories and knowing that they have families, siblings, best friends, pets… it broke my heart. It brought tears to my eyes and an aching sorrow to my soul to think of anyone wanting to harm little ones like this. These are Abba’s little ones… little ones to whom Jesus said, “Come to Me!” with joy.
It left me asking Why? Abba, why these adorable little children? Why did they have to die? And why did their friends and siblings have to experience this inexplicable suffering, see their friends die, undergo this huge catastrophe? And I don’t have the answers to these questions. None of us do. Only God knows what is going on… what the purpose is for things like this. I know that He is completely sovereign, so there is a purpose for everything, but when there is such indescribable pain involved… children… I know that God weeps with His children. He weeps with His people who are facing this loss. He holds them. He holds the children, their families, their community. He sorrows with them, hurts with them, cries with them, comforts them, grieves with them. He didn’t create this world to be this way; He created humanity for delight, for peace, for joy, for freedom in obedience. Pain, sorrow, and unthinkable sin is what happens when we try to deviate from His intention for us. Father, may we return in repentance, bowing to You in forgiveness and sorrow. May we let You hold us, hold the children and their families. May we surrender ourselves to You. May we forgive those who cause this pain and grief upon us the way that You have unconditionally forgiven us.
You are the only One Who brings order out of this chaos that our nation has undergone this past week. You are the only One Who can heal the broken hearts of these families, these children, this school, this community. May we open our hearts for You do to Your work in them.
I give December 14, 2012 to You, LORD Jesus.

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by AJ Petersen on December 20, 2012  •  Permalink
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Posted by AJ Petersen on December 20, 2012

https://thewayofredemption.wordpress.com/2012/12/20/december-14-2012-a-day-we-wont-forget/

Two Homes? Or Between Homes?

I am home again for fall break! This evening has been amazing — a wonderful birthday dinner (thank you, Dad!!), a lovely tour for my friend David who is staying with us for fall break, cuddling with my adorable dog Cody who has been missed and has missed me so much! Also card games with my siblings and David have been quite fun. 🙂
As fun as this has been and even though it has only been one evening, I’m finding myself with a strange predicament of feelings.
I feel as if I have two homes; or maybe I am between homes.
I know this isn’t an uncommon feeling. Missionary kids probably feel this a lot, as do people who move frequently or business kids whose parents move continents often. I came home to find my room switched around and my stuff in boxes or moved. I came home as a visitor. Yet college is not exactly home, either. I share a room with two other people. Now, this is lots of fun, don’t get me wrong, but I am not fully myself there as I have been here at my house. I don’t sing constantly in my dorm room as I do at home. I don’t hum and joke and laugh with my roommates in the same way that I do with my sister and brother.
It’s an interesting feeling… one that I don’t think will truly go away in this life. I mean, we’re always going to be moving around. Even if we aren’t moving around, we’ll still find ourselves in situations and circumstances which lend themselves to awkwardness, loneliness, or fear. There will always be a certain uncomfortableness to life, I’m finding. I think this is a good thing, as painful as it can seem at times. It keeps us on our toes. It keeps us from becoming complacent. It keeps us growing. Thriving. Thinking. It keeps us ALIVE.
As you face uncomfortableness today, think about where Home is. Think about Who makes home Home. Why should we feel at Home where we are now, at this moment in time and place?! In fact, I think I might be frightened if I did feel completely at Home here and now. That would mean there’s no other Place I’m living for, and that certainly isn’t true! Where and When are you living for?

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by AJ Petersen on October 19, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Philosophy, Reflections
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Posted by AJ Petersen on October 19, 2012

https://thewayofredemption.wordpress.com/2012/10/19/two-homes-or-between-homes/

True Life

Patience. Tolerance. Long-suffering.
Self-conciousness. Hopefulness. Let down.
Sadness. Sorrow. Love. Struggling.
Trying to follow Jesus.
Trying to do what He says.
Trying to implement wisdom.
Blown off. Rejected. Ignored.
Disrespected. Teased. Back-stabbed.
Cold shoulder. Left out. Against me.
He said it would be like this.
He said it would be hard.
He said there would be pain AND joy.
I accept the challenge.
I surrender all.
I give up what I think is life to find True Life.
They reject You really, not me.
They are intimidated.
They don’t understand Your love and grace
to be more than rules and regulations;
Boring. Non-relatable. Apathetic.
But You are so much more.
You are Jesus, friend.
You are Spirit, with us.
You are Abba, Daddy.

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by AJ Petersen on October 2, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Poetry
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Posted by AJ Petersen on October 2, 2012

https://thewayofredemption.wordpress.com/2012/10/02/true-life/

First Two Weeks at NWC!

Hola! I’ve been so busy I could hardly think these past two weeks… but I think I’ve finally figured out somewhat how to manage my time well and get all the papers, readings, and assignments done! It has been such a blast getting started with classes, meeting SO many new people, and learning from amazing professors.
I have met many music majors and had some very fun conversations with some of them! I am in Counterpoint this semester. Counterpoint is an upper-level music theory course in which you learn how to analyze and write independent melodic lines that work together to also create vertical progressions. I am in a small class (6 total students) and everyone else knows each other already, but I have known the answers to questions and been able to answer a couple that I knew I had correct. My professor, Dr. Danek, has a crazy memory. He plays in class many excerpts from inventions and fugues while we are learning the concepts and tells us important things to remember about each of them.
I have been able to unofficially tutor a music theory I student already this semester, too! I am going to talk to the Alpha Center about tutoring because it’s a wonderful program: students get tutoring free and the tutors are paid by NWC! COOL deal. 🙂
I am in 3 honors classes: Public Speaking, Old Testament History and Literature, and History of Western Civilization. Speech is fairly straight-forward; Rhetoric with Mr. H prepared me well last year. 🙂 OT will be lots of paper-writing, but I think I will be very satisfied with the results at the end of the semester. West. Civ. will be SO much reading. We have a huge course packet filled with articles, plus 6 additional small books to read this semester. Good thing I’ve read some of these already with Mr. D and Mr. Phillips! It will be much easier to skim and remember rather than learn brand new material. In honors classes professors don’t give tests or quizzes, so we just do big projects and write many papers. I personally think this is pretty nice! It will certainly make finals week MUCH easier.
I have visited 2 different churches so far and will visit another new one this week. I really liked Bethlehem Baptist the first week; I would like to go back and visit again maybe next weekend. I was very convicted by Pastor John Piper’s sermon on the end of 2 Timothy 4. For worship they took hymns and “modernized” them (for lack of a better term). I enjoyed that immensely! Last week I went to Real Life Church. It was their Youth Sunday, so their youth praise team led worship and the youth pastor spoke about impacting youth. It was very interesting listening to a sermon like that from this side of high school; every time that I remember, I was IN middle or high school when hearing sermons like that. It was a strange feeling to realize that I am not one of them any longer and I now have a different role to play in impacting youth. I have the same role to play in college life that I used to in high school, but it looks different. That is something I have been thinking about and praying about a lot this week: what does it look like to impact college students? High schoolers? Middle Schoolers?? Wow… that requires some more thought.
Please be in prayer for a new friend of mine, Wade Weeldryer. I have not talked to him very much, but he is in two of my classes. His mother just died on Thursday evening from battling a very painful cancer. While his family is rejoicing that she is no longer in pain and that she is with her Savior, they are still grieving her loss.
You can also pray for the spiritual life of the students on this campus. I have seen some on FIRE for our LORD, but I have also seen some who need Him so badly…. it breaks my heart to see them searching for fulfillment in the wrong places. I want to be a light here; I don’t know what that looks like or how God might use me, but I trust that He can and He will, if I let Him. And I WANT Him to use me, even if I’m not “popular”…. I’ve never been popular, so no worries there. 🙂 God has given me an urgency for this campus; may He bring this to action here at Northwestern College. Go Eagles! Go Jesus!! 😀 Thank You for LIFE.

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by AJ Petersen on September 8, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Reflections
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Posted by AJ Petersen on September 8, 2012

https://thewayofredemption.wordpress.com/2012/09/08/first-two-weeks-at-nwc/

NWC, Here I Come!! T-minus 10 HOURS

Wow. I can’t believe this is actually happening. In just under 10 hours I will be at Northwestern, checking in, moving in, and meeting Lauren and Rachel! I can’t tell you how excited I am, but let me explain another strange feeling that has overcome me this evening.
After I was finished packing (by the way, I packed the van all by myself! 🙂 ), I practiced voice (getting ready for auditions!), cut Cody’s nails and brushed him (I ALWAYS do that… now mom will have to do it sometimes :/ ), and got dressed for my Commission Service (more on that in a minute). And when all that was done and I had my first down moment for the day, I didn’t know what to do. My room is emptier than it’s ever been, my books are packed away… I feel out of home. I know that’s not true, but I feel like I’m in limbo or something.
Tonight I was pleasantly surprised when dad got home to be greeted by a smiling dad with flowers for ME! Aaww. ❤ There were roses in the bouquet, my favorite flower! Then we had a very nice dinner which consisted of sweet corn, ribs, and salsa! I LOVE Dad’s salsa. 🙂 We ate our fill; we cleaned that table off for my Commissioning Service, affectionately called Annie’s Commissioning.
My family went around the table, each giving me something and saying a few things about me to encourage me, challenge me, and tell me how much they love me. My mom started off by telling me that she prays I spread as much JOY at NWC as I do everywhere else! And she challenged me to love God and serve others. 🙂 Jenna gave me a poem that she wrote about me last year all typed up. She also gave me the picture she drew (at my request) to commemorate the day I got the inspiration (literally!) for Breathe In Me, a song I wrote this spring.
Reedie was really sweet and made me a digital picture in the shape of a heart using words that describe me, ending with my name (according to him) – Annieboo. 😛  It was really cool!! Definitely taking it to college with me. 🙂
Finally, Dad. He said a lot of nice things: stuff I’ve learned, ways I’ve grown, how my parents see me living for God… some pretty sweet things. Sadly I can’t remember a lot of it even though I wish I did. 😛 He gave me a bunch of colored pens, too (well, I HAVE been borrowing his for quite a while… 😛 ). Oh, and he used the peanut M&Ms we were eating as an illustration of the “many M&M’s of the seashore” being the blessings I will receive. He was replicating the Abrahamic covenant – COOL. I feel so loved. ❤ This brings me to describe further the STRANGE feeling I have… such mixed emotions. For the past… oh, at least 3 days, I’ve felt like leaving NOW, like I should be there already because most of my classmates are off at school already. But I realized tonight that I don’t know for sure if I’m ready! I mean, I felt really ready before, but now that it’s becoming real, I think I’m going to really miss my family, Rochester, ARC, Crossroads, Schaeffer, my friends… I’m going to miss what I have come to love. But I won’t stop loving the people, places, and things here, I will just be learning to love a new place, new people who will become wonderful new friends, and new things about this time in life that I’ve never experienced before! God, help me to do what You have planned for me!! I want to do what You want me to do. 🙂
Oh man, NWC, here I COME!!!

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by AJ Petersen on August 23, 2012  •  Permalink
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Posted by AJ Petersen on August 23, 2012

https://thewayofredemption.wordpress.com/2012/08/23/nwc-here-i-come-t-minus-10-hours/

NWC, Here I Come! ONE Week Left!!

I only have one week left until I move into my dorm room and start college life. I am SO excited to get there and make new friends, learn lots of music and other stuff, and (most importantly) grow closer to God and learn more about His purpose for me.
I am so enthusiastic to meet my roommates, too! We have bought pretty much everything we’re going to need, though we’ll probably find that we need a few other things too, but we officially get to meet one another a week from today! Lauren and Rachel, I can’t wait to meet you!!
My prayer for this next week, Father, is that You might teach me what You want me to know going into this exciting freshman year. Mold my heart and mind into Your likeness. Shape my motivations, attitude, thought patterns, ALL of me into who You want me to be. Rain Your grace in my life. Whisper Your truth in my heart as I go experience many new things and meet so many new people all at once. Guide me to guard my heart and mind with everything that I have, but at the same time to be open and selfless to showing Your love to others as they need. Thank You for being who You are, God! I am constantly in AWE of all You are and I can’t wait to grow in knowing You and being known by You! May this be a year dedicated to You. I give You this school year, Father. It’s for You! It’s all for You!! ❤
Northwestern, I’m ready!! Boy, am I in for an adventure! 😀

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by AJ Petersen on August 17, 2012  •  Permalink
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Posted by AJ Petersen on August 17, 2012

https://thewayofredemption.wordpress.com/2012/08/17/nwc-here-i-come-one-week-left/

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