I hate it when I sin. Absolutely hate it. And what do I hate even more than sin?? I HATE the appeal of sin. It wouldn’t be so hard to resist if it were an abominable abhorrence. But it’s not always that way. That’s why I’m tempted by it. That’s why you’re tempted by it. It’s part of our fallen nature to want to do things we’re told specifically not to do. It’s a warping of our beautiful curiosity to be interested in that which is harmful to us.

Right now I am angry. Angry at myself for finding sin appealing. Angry that I can’t do what I want to do and that I want to do what I can’t do. Righteously angry I believe because, you see, my desires are not the LORD’s right now. And I HATE that! I want so badly for my desires to be His desires, and yet I have no control over changing my thoughts, my desires, my inclinations. My natural tendencies lead to destruction. I can’t do good. I can look good on the outside, pretending that my actions reveal my desires and motives. But even the good that I do perform is as filthiness compared to His perfection. This is why I’m angry.

I could let this anger cause me to become bitter, angry at God for letting me sin, beating myself up for constantly making mistakes, or just ignore the good and let myself give in to my natural tendencies towards death. But I’m not going to do that. I am going to choose to let truth permeate the sin and temptation that I face, knowing that Jesus is the only One Powerful enough to change me. And I’m going to surrender. Surrender my sin… surrender my pride… surrender my struggles with the thoughts of temptation… and just BE in His Presence. Being in His Presence reminds me who I am. It sets me in my place and shows me the true way, the beautiful way, the good way.

LORD, change my heart. Mold my desires to conform to Yours. Shape me to look like You. Use me. Let it be.