Sometimes Blessings Come Disguised

I am sure you’ve heard this saying before: “Sometimes blessings come disguised.” It rings true to us for many reasons. We make plans and often times those plans don’t happen how we’d like or when we’d like. We see the bad in some circumstances, only to find out later that there was some good mixed in. Or if there was no apparent good to be found, we at least learned some good things through the hard times.

This is what I discovered yet again a few days ago.
The LORD took me through an amazing time of reflection and thinking, a time of renewal. He encouraged me to write out my story, the whole thing, from beginning to end. So write I did… and write, and write, and write. And what a freeing act that was. He showed me that through some of the difficulty and strife, through some of the pain and hurt that I had experienced, there were great blessings and lessons that I learned that I am only beginning to see now. He does not deny that some of those things were bad or that some of them hurt — because they really did — but He is showing me that He can make such beauty from ashes, from the fire of trials. But He can only make beauty and bring restoration and renewal if I surrender and let Him. This is a scary act, I know, because it is an act of giving up control. But it is an act of liberation and trust, an act of letting Abba Daddy take the reigns and lead me by the hand instead of running ahead alone to fall in a mud hole that I cannot climb out of by myself. He will certainly help me climb out and gently clean me up if I DO decide to do that… but He encourages me to walk next to Him, letting Him speak into every part of this journey called life. Because truly, that is the Good Life.
So here I am, LORD. Do with me and in me as You will, Abba. I am all Yours.

So Good to Me!

God is SO good to me! Over the past semester, He has been faithfully leading me, guiding me into something that I never expected or thought possible. When He first put the thought into my mind, I told Him, “No way!! I don’t want to yet! I’m scared and not ready for what You’re asking me to do.” But my God had other plans, of course.
Looking back at that moment, and looking at myself now as I step forward to obey Him, I see myself looking a lot like many people in Scripture. Moses, for example, said, “LORD, who am I to speak eloquently in front of Pharaoh, the most prominent figure in all of the world as we know it? How can I do Your work?” Or what about Abraham, who obeyed God and took Isaac to sacrifice him? I’m sure so many thoughts were running through his head as they made the treck up to make an altar. Things like: “Really LORD? How can my son be the fulfillment of the promise if You ask me to sacrifice him? How can I possibly obey this? How do I obey You, God?” Or how about Peter in the New Testament: “Jesus, I will NEVER deny You!” and then he does. He doubts he can ever obey again, knowing that he is sinful and bound to fail. BUT Jesus brings him back his calling and reminds him that he can only do it through the power of the Almighty One who called him in the first place.
This is where the LORD brought me to last week and today. He said, “Andrea, I would never ask you to do something if I could not do it through you and in you. You have to trust me. You are always ready when I am with you.”
And so I say, YES LORD. I trust You. I will obey, even if I am scared and afraid, not knowing how to do what You’ve asked of me. In fact, when I bring my worries or anxieties to You, You can turn it into thrilled excitement and passion for what You’ve called me to do. LORD, thank You for Your faithfulness! You are SO good to me!! ❤

Repentance

I hate it when I sin. Absolutely hate it. And what do I hate even more than sin?? I HATE the appeal of sin. It wouldn’t be so hard to resist if it were an abominable abhorrence. But it’s not always that way. That’s why I’m tempted by it. That’s why you’re tempted by it. It’s part of our fallen nature to want to do things we’re told specifically not to do. It’s a warping of our beautiful curiosity to be interested in that which is harmful to us.

Right now I am angry. Angry at myself for finding sin appealing. Angry that I can’t do what I want to do and that I want to do what I can’t do. Righteously angry I believe because, you see, my desires are not the LORD’s right now. And I HATE that! I want so badly for my desires to be His desires, and yet I have no control over changing my thoughts, my desires, my inclinations. My natural tendencies lead to destruction. I can’t do good. I can look good on the outside, pretending that my actions reveal my desires and motives. But even the good that I do perform is as filthiness compared to His perfection. This is why I’m angry.

I could let this anger cause me to become bitter, angry at God for letting me sin, beating myself up for constantly making mistakes, or just ignore the good and let myself give in to my natural tendencies towards death. But I’m not going to do that. I am going to choose to let truth permeate the sin and temptation that I face, knowing that Jesus is the only One Powerful enough to change me. And I’m going to surrender. Surrender my sin… surrender my pride… surrender my struggles with the thoughts of temptation… and just BE in His Presence. Being in His Presence reminds me who I am. It sets me in my place and shows me the true way, the beautiful way, the good way.

LORD, change my heart. Mold my desires to conform to Yours. Shape me to look like You. Use me. Let it be.

DR 2012 — July 2nd (Journal #4)

9:30 pm
Today was an adventure! We (Kyle, Andrew, Lisa, Miriam, Brandon, Daniel, Kiersten, and I) left for the foundation site at 4 a.m. On the way there Crismery and I talked. One time we were talking about the word “broken” and she asked if it’s used for food. I laughed really hard and said, “No, only for things. Use “spoiled” or “rotten” for food.” 🙂
We started the foundation by measuring the circumference, then digging a 6-inch wide, 18-inch deep trench for the concrete along the edge of where the chapel will go. That was probably the hardest because there were lots of rocks (big ones) in the way. After that J.J. and Benjamin taught us how to mix concrete to fill in the trench. That took about 5 hours. After the concrete there are cinder blocks put level on top. Then we filled the blocks with concrete. That was the last step. Two wonderful ladies fed us amazing fried chicken, rice & beans, and papaya, mango, and pineapple. Nothing like fresh fruit from the DR!
On the way home I sat next to Jesús. He speaks literally no English, so it was really hard to understand, but I got better with practice. I asked him if I have a bad accent 😛 and he said that it is better than one of the summer intern’s! She has taken lots of Spanish and knows way more vocab than I do, but apparently I speak what I do know well.
Tonight Ina came and shared with us about her ministry with women and children. They women make bags, headbands, and jewelry that Ina sells to make a living for them. I can’t WAIT to meet them on Wednesday! I want to meet the lady, Ricki, who made my headband. 🙂
Abba, thank You for Ina’s story. Through her You reminded me to dream big and follow Your lead, for You WILL provide. ❤
¡Buenas noches!

  • Recent Posts

  • Top Posts & Pages

  • Categories

  • Archives